Celebrating my mother’s birthday this past weekend — which had us both enjoying sunny skies via a scenic Frankfort drive to view Lake Michigan in all its glory — was a reminder that one of the most important things that I can share with her is time.
Time set aside to share and cook meals together, time to check in with each other on the daily, time to have conversations about everything and anything — those moments, however simple or big they seem, are irreplaceable.
I’ve been my mom’s caregiver for the last several years, and we were so blessed to find a rental in the area together amid the pandemic. Since then, our household has shifted and is now multigenerational, meaning there are at least two generations of adults living with each other. As it turns out, I’m just one of thousands of young adults in the U.S. who live with a parent or relative.
According to the Pew Research Center, a quarter of all adults ages 25 to 34 now live in a similar multigenerational living situation, with the exception being that each family has different reasons for staying together. The number of young adults living with either one of their parents has only increased since the 1970s, and it appears that the trend won’t be changing anytime soon.
Taking into consideration that finances and rising costs are major issues why a lot of these young adults are moving back with parents, it’s also important to note that other multigenerational living arrangements are reasons why this trend has held strong. A Pew Research Center study highlights that almost a third of the people surveyed said that caregiving for a child, elder, or otherwise, was one of the main reasons they embraced multigenerational housing.
For some cultures, the multigenerational living style is pretty normal. Growing up in Hawaii, a lot of my friends were raised by and lived with their grandparents, aunty or uncle — really anyone who had the means, even if it was barely nothing, would be there and not think twice about helping out. It was also fairly common to see families with children invite their parents/grandparents to come live with them if they needed that security.
Being able to spend time, care, and be with my mom every day, where we’d otherwise be struggling more living apart, has been a relief in all ways. I realize this living arrangement is not one that works for everybody, but I’m lucky enough to have a mom that is open minded and genuine, ultimately making our housing experience a peaceful one I’m grateful to be in.
When I was a kid, I thought I had an infinite amount of time left with my parents. As I’ve gotten older and especially while living with my mom, the realization that time is finite and that loved ones won’t be able to do the same things that they did before, has become more real.
Spending time or living with loved ones is a gift, every year goes by faster, learn what you can from them, and you’ll be grateful for that shared time later in life — I know I will be.
