I once read that we hold bigger celebrations on holidays in the winter to help break up the cold, dark days and make the time before spring pass more quickly. Whatever the reasons, these holidays came to represent particularly big ideas and things. At the same time, the festivities increased in scope until they decorated every home in the neighborhood and every aisle in the supermarket.
Thanksgiving is not just the anniversary of a harvest that Native Americans shared with settlers, but a time for gratitude and patriotism; Christmas is not just about Jesus Christ’s birthday (according to secondary sources anyways) but giving generously to one another; Valentine’s Day is not really connected to the Catholic saint anymore and is mostly about affirming commitments to love.
All these holidays have their own traditions that every family and household is supposed to take part in. Most people end up setting up a Christmas tree, or at least some garland and lights, bring a dish to Christmas dinner, and open presents under the tree. I do all these things too.
But the things that really make Christmas a special occasion for me are the little quirks that my extended family includes in their celebrations each year. They’re not especially unique things — many families probably do them — but they’re the memories that really stick with me.
Firstly, I always try to visit both my mom’s and dad’s side of the family over the holidays. Since my mom passed away and I’m an only child, it’s my sole responsibility to find out when both sides of the family are getting together for their own celebrations and then create a plan that allows me to see as much of my family as possible.
The two sides of my family are polar opposites when it comes to planning the holidays. They remind me of my parents in the best way.
Until recently, my dad worked as an automotive engineer. His side of the family is small and cohesive unit, and they always know when and where they’re gathering for the holidays well in advance.
My mom went to film school and was a very talented black-and-white stencil artist. Her side of the family is large and sprawling — I have 12 cousins across three aunts and uncles — and their holiday plans are always a bit vague until a few days beforehand. Although that seems to be changing somewhat now that some of the latest generation must make travel plans or visit their own in-laws.
Similarly, shopping for the two sides of the family is very different. Whereas my dad’s side of the family has a particular idea of what they want, my mom’s side has much less clear expectations.
Every time my dad’s end of the family gets together, we play Scrabble, and Christmas is no different. Lately, the player roster has been me, my dad, and my aunt and uncle. My aunt has succeeded my late grandmother as the person to beat. Their son, my cousin, usually sets up the board before passing out on the couch from dinner.
My mom’s side of the family has their own favorite games, but they prefer Pictionary and other options that can include a larger group of players. There’s also the inevitable moment where one of my aunts encourages us to go around the room and each identify something that we’re grateful for, or a thing we appreciate about a specific family member — typically, my grandma.
More than the gift exchanges, I’m looking forward to my family’s unique spins on their Christmas celebrations, especially now that I don’t see them nearly as often. I hope our readers observe their own rituals that make their Christmases truly personal and special.
